Finding balance after the initial honeymoon phase of retirement.
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Youâve been looking forward to this for years. Retirement! Youâre finally getting out of the rat race. No alarms, no deadlines, just freedom, like being a kid on summer break for the rest of your life. But as with any major change, retirement can stir up stress.
Thatâs because stressâour mind and bodyâs reaction to changeâcan show up even when the change is good. Similar to the KĂŒbler-Ross stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), retirement requires adjustment and can involve different emotional stages.
- The âhoneymoonâ period of retirement can feel exhilarating.
- Disenchantmentâoften leading to stressâcan surface when the excitement fades.
- Adjusting to retirement often means redefining your routines and sense of purpose.
Right after retirement: The honeymoon period
There are many ways to transition into retirement. You might work part-time for a while before retiring. Conversely, you might have had health problems that make working difficult and caused an abrupt end to your career. You might work full force until your last day, training your replacement. Or you might find that your work schedule is already winding down.
This time can be very exciting for the newly retired. When people ask what you do all day, you might say your time fills easilyâretirement feels exactly right.
Many people plan a vacation or some type of project as soon as they retire. Others specifically make no plans so their time is completely free. Thereâs often relief from a worn-out routine and work hassles. Doing what you want, when you want, feels good.
Disenchantment with retirement
But time passes and retirement might not feel quite so right. The vacation has been taken. Youâve binge-watched everything you had saved on Netflix. Youâve tended the garden and caught up on long-postponed hobbies. Youâve spent more time with family, friends, and/or yourself.
At some point, many people think: What now? Am I fulfilled? This is when stress might start to take a toll.
Researchers describe stress in many ways: physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and even technological. The exact categories vary across models, but taken together, they capture the main ways retirement can shake up your sense of balance.
Physical stress affects the body, according to Hans Selye, a pioneer in the area of stress research. During retirement, your body could be affected by the physical stress of eating unhealthy foods or overindulging, or by getting too much or too little exercise.
- Are you eating properly or snacking all the time?
- Is baking your new hobby and you have eaten a lot of your work?
- Are you getting the right amount of sleep?
- Are you getting enough exercise?
- Are you overexerting yourself with heavy yard work or hiking?
Psychological stress affects your emotions, according to Selye. You might experience emotions that you didnât expect during retirement.
- Are you worried that you donât have enough money for your retired lifestyle?
- Do you feel guilty that you are retired while your friends are still working?
- Are you surprised by various feelings as you and your spouse may be spending more time together than ever before during your marriage?
Psychosocial stress affects social interactions, according to Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman in Transactional Model of Stress and Coping. Once in retirement, you are no longer interacting with your workmates on a daily basis. Other routines may have changed as well, and you may feel that the burden of keeping house has fallen to you.
- Do you feel isolated?
- Do you feel that you donât have enough contact with the outside world?
- Are you still doing all the household chores even though your spouse has also retired?
Spiritual stress is a concept discussed in holistic nursing, including The Psychospiritual Clinicianâs Handbook: Alternative Methods for Understanding and Treating Mental Disorders. After retirement, you may be rethinking your value system.
- Do you feel that you no longer have a purpose?
- Are you questioning the meaning of life?
- Do you feel like you are no longer valued since you are not in the workforce?
Technological stress is caused by technological change, according to Craig Brod in Technostress: The Human Cost of the Computer Revolution. After retirement you may be exposed to more or less technology than you were during your working years.
- Do you feel unable to cope with the rapid pace of technology now that you are no longer working?
- Do you have information overload since you have more time to watch TV or scroll on your phone?
- Do you feel vulnerable because of the prevalence of Internet scams and identity theft?
Seek help if your feelings are overwhelming
If you feel a persistent sadness or hopelessness, a loss of interest in activities, social withdrawal, overwhelming guilt or worthlessness, or an inability to cope with daily life, your stress may have transitioned into depression. Contact your health care provider. In an emergency, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline immediately.
Getting adjusted to retirement
If your stress and emotions start to seem unmanageable, it may be time to reach out for help. A therapist or other mental health professional might help you to switch the stressors of retirement to âgood stress,â helping to motivate you and keep you excited about life.
As you adjust to retirement, you might need to make changes to your habits and your thought processes.
- Experiment with new routinesâexercise, meals, and how you spend your time alone or with others.
- Keep up with your budget to ensure your retirement savings will outlive you.
- Decide how much alone time you really want in your day-to-day life. Make sure you get out into the community at least occasionally to reduce your sense of isolation.
- Talk with your spouse or roommates about splitting up the household chores. Consider hiring someone to take care of difficult tasks such as snow shoveling, yard work, and housecleaning.
- Look for something that gives your days shapeâwhether thatâs mentoring, creating, volunteering, or part-time work.
- If possible, keep up with technology enough to communicate with younger generations. Watch out for scams. Consider limiting your time spent watching TV or doomscrolling.
Eventually, you will likely settle into your own rhythm and really begin to enjoy the flexibility and freedom that retirement can offer.
As with any life change, retirement can be great, but it can also take some real adjustment. Watch out for your mental health as well as your physical health during this transition. Seek help and support from professionals as you need them.
Once youâve worked through the emotional shifts of retirement, you can settle into the rhythm of your new season of lifeâyour own version of year-round summer vacation.
This article was most recently revised and updated by Nancy AshburnThis article was most recently revised and updated by Jennifer Agee
