How did Kernberg connect cold or unempathetic parenting with narcissism?

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Fresco depicting Narcissus — narcissism Narcissus, wall painting; from the House of Marcus Lucretius Fronto, Pompeii, Italy, 14–62 ce.

According to the theory proposed by psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg, narcissism functions as a psychological defense mechanism rather than a simple developmental arrest.1

Kernberg posits that when children experience coldness and a lack of empathy from their parents—potentially due to the parents' own narcissism—they become emotionally hungry and respond to this neglect with rage. To cope with this environment, the child attempts to take refuge in specific aspects of the self that are capable of evoking admiration from others.1

This defensive strategy ultimately results in the development of a grandiose and inflated sense of self. Consequently, while individuals with this condition appear grandiose on the surface, they remain internally vulnerable and harbor deep-seated doubts regarding their own self-worth.1